Police marksmen wanted.

Dogs are universally recognised by all right thinking people as being terrible animals. That’s a given, but like all things, within each group there are still levels of disdain with which things should be treated, some should be shot on sight, others maybe poisoned slowly over some months resulting in a more painless death.

Whilst wandering about past the lawn outside work I spied one such creature off his leash squatting in the corner. Imagine my surprise when he deposited a massive turd on the grass, stood up and trotted his stupid stumpy body over to his twuntish owner, who rather than doing the decent thing and removing the filth his filthy creature had so disgustingly left, he wandered off down the road strutting like his vile stumpy canine companion.

Clearly in this situation there should be police marksmen on every roof top who should immediately kill the dog, to reduce the numbers of these despotic beasts roaming the streets of course, and shoot the owner in the leg to remind him in future should he get another dog to look after it properly.

The fact that is was the kind of dog you only own because it looks like it could, and would, maul a child to death for a laugh, so therefore you look ‘ard too like, made it an even more infuriating episode. The only people who should be able to own such creatures (if they must exist) are small frail female O.A.P’s who look a lot like Joan Hickson. Any posing Yute who wants a dog should only be allowed a Chihuahua or a King Charles Spaniel, with a preeminently attached diamante studded leatherette leash (preferably spelling out the word ‘wanker’ in faux sparkle).

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One Response to Police marksmen wanted.

  1. Jon says:

    Your still wrong about dogs Brian. One day you’ll see the light…

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